to go, come back and stay here
by LacieFuyu
Summary: AU. Where Leta Survived, Queenie and Credence never joined Grindelwald. Prequel (Kind of) of the choice that lead to happiness. Leta and Theseus story. Precisely January 1928. For the Hogwash Discord Secret Santa Fic Exchange. Theta. Minor Newtina. Fluff. Angst. (Re-Upload) (2nd AU Interlude of as we tried to heal series) (1st Re: Choice series)


This is for Cyndll!

It's Theta and I hope enjoy it!

Prompts:

39# I wish we could stay like this forever

40# Will you marry me?

53# It's lonely here without you

70# This is why I fell in love with you.

Betaed by moonstruckfool and njckle! Shout out for them 3

Edit: Thank you LA-31! I didn't notice :')

* * *

Theseus wondered when Leta's presence became a part of him. He had not realised it at first. It was funny considering they were engaged and already living together. He knew that he had always enjoyed Leta's company but he didn't know how much he relied on it. How much her presence eased any uneasiness he felt. She grounded him.

It wasn't until he had to leave her for a mission, one that he knew would last more than a week, that he realized how ingrained she was in his life. The idea made him feel so unsettled. He realised what he was feeling was fear. Fear that he couldn't stay with her anymore because this mission was not part of their routine.

It was a dangerous one and he knew had to be part of the team for this one. There was something suspicious about the entire thing, but Travers was desperate enough and ordered him to follow the lead. He knew why Travers couldn't ignore it. Grindelwald was dangerous and any wasted second would only give him more time to gain even more power.

The phantom pain on the burn scar that he got in Paris was the very proof of it.

It would only be a group that consisted of only six people that would track down the man. Even Travers recognised that they were short-staffed at the moment and couldn't just send them all or they would hit by a major loss like in Paris. This mission was top-secret - only Travers, Minister Fawley, him, and the five subordinates who were chosen for this mission knew about it.

Theseus couldn't just let his subordinates chase after this particular lead, not when it looked too deliberate, but at the same time he knew they would meet a dead end and have to chase after it. They had to bite the bait this time around, hoping they could gain information that could lead to Grindelwald himself.

The danger was high; lives were at stake here and he couldn't just sit around waiting for the result. He had to go and make sure every single man came back to their families. He wouldn't let Paris happen again.

Travers gave them a day to spend with their family before the mission. He approved of that gesture, even though he made it a personal mission to make sure to they would eventually return to their family, sometimes things happen and at the very least he could do was to give them time to prepare for the worst.

He knew he probably should visit his parents but he had not the heart to tell them that this could endanger his life, giving them too much worry about already, and he had yet to receive any letter from his little brother. He knew that Newt and Tina were in another beastly quest in America. Tina was his Auror escort and girlfriend, capable and just as mad as Newt, and he knows he could trust Tina with his brother's safety. He wouldn't tell them or any of his friends about this mission yet.

Except for Leta. She deserved to know what possibly could happen to him.

So he went home. When he arrived, he found Leta was in the kitchen, cooking dinner (it was her turn, he remembered.). He knew Travers gave her today and tomorrow off. Traver definitely knew that he was going to spend the day with Leta. He sighed.

Hearing his sigh, Leta immediately noticed him and gestured for him to come closer.

He discarded his coat, suit, and waistcoat on the sofa, then pulled off his tie and added it to another pile of his clothes on the sofa. He approached Leta who was still busy cooking. She loved to cook the Muggle way - it was more fun, she said.

"Let me help you." He said as he rolled up his sleeves to the elbows. They had a schedule planned out,days spent cooking together when he was free of work, and days where he'd be too busy. He usually would help prepare the table instead but he just felt he had to do this simple task with her.

Leta turned off the stove, turned her head look him, and raised an eyebrow.

"It's my turn today," she said, carefully. "You usually prepare the table and watch me cooking after that."

Theses knew he had been found out but he didn't answer her unspoken question: _What's wrong?_ He swallowed down the uneasy feeling and forced a smile. "Just let me help today. I just want to be with you now."

Leta stared at him, a promise in her eyes that she would ask more about it, but for now, he knew she had relented. She let him help her with the cooking, enjoying the moment, and Theseus couldn't help himself stealing glances at her in between cutting the ingredients. When she was cooking, she always enjoyed it so much, and it was obvious she was in her element. That was why he always loved watching her cooking. There was a sense of joy that he only saw when she was cooking. It always brought a smile to his face.

They finished it quicker than usual.

Dinner was fine. Leta and him started to talk about their activities for that day. He carefully left out the mission from their conversation when she asked how his work was. He wasn't ready to tell her yet. This did not escape Leta, and she stared at him, not amused.

"I will tell you later, I promise. For now, just enjoy dinner. Please, darling."

"Alright," She sighed. She reached for his hand and caressed it gently with her thumb. "I'm just worried about you. It's obvious that there's something bothering you. You not telling me immediately means it's bad and related to your work."

"As expected of the best Investigators of the Ministry." He smiled at her. "You always notice everything."

"It's my job and," She looked at him gently, her hand reached his left scarred cheek, gently caressed it. "I know you well, Thes."

He covered her hand with his and kissed her palm lovingly. "I know, Leta. I know."

They spent the rest of dinner talking about other things instead of the mission. He talked about what happened a few days ago, Alistair once again being the ultimate prankster in the office and how Alena was this close to snapping his neck for turning her hair bright pink and how Lance had to stop her. It was fun and all he told her but the peak of it was when he pranked both Gaunt and Yaxley. No one snitched Alistair out, not even Alena.

"That's understandable. No one really likes them anyway, as you said. They are pests."

"They have no one to blame but themselves." He shrugged. "If they could stop being such judgemental bigots, it would be better."

"It must have been quite a day." Leta chuckles.

"If only you had seen their expressions," Theseus laughed at the memory. "Everyone tried to not laugh, but in the end, they gave up pretending. If only you could see their faces, it was gold."

"My, my." She shook her head fondly. "I should've visit you. I can imagine it now."

They shared a laugh. He listened to her story about her colleagues. It was comforting that some of them were actually decent people and she could talk about them without judgment. Listening to her voice as she talked about them brought a smile to his face.

At times like this, he sometimes wished his job was not one that endangers his own life, so he didn't need to make her worry but he knew that was not an option. Since he was a child, protecting people was always in his nature and after Newt was born that instinct became even more prominent. He couldn't find himself regretting that part of him, though he knew that instinct could be received differently and misunderstood.

That was why he always appreciate these moments. He knew his life could be taken anytime in his line of work - he had almost lost Leta and his own life in Paris. He almost could hear it again, the selfish wish that sometimes whispered in his mind every time he was with Leta.

I wish we could stay like this forever.

Theseus knew that was not an option, but he wished for it anyway.

When their chat went late into the evening and he couldn't stifle his yawn, Leta decided it was time for them to retire to their bedroom. He dreaded every second of it as they changed their clothes to pyjamas. He was not sure how to approach the topic.

His worry was proven wrong though.

As soon as they were in bed, lying down and facing each other, the words just came out easily. He told her about the mission, the danger that followed it, and how he could potentially lose his life in this mission.

Leta listened carefully as he informed more details regarding the mission. He didn't reveal key information or the lead itself, but he did tell her about the general premise about the mission. When he started to talk about a will, Leta immediately put her index finger right on his lips.

"I am not going to hear you talking about your will, Theseus Scamander," she said. "I am not going to let you go with such mindset."

"I am-"

"I know what are you going to do. You will do anything to make sure your team to come back, no matter what. Don't even try to deny it." Leta cut him off. "You always try to protect everyone. That is why you're always hard on yourself when you can't prevent deaths." She reached his left cheek, caressed the scar gently. "You are allowed to forgive yourself, Thes."

Those words hit him. _Hard_.

It never occurred to him before that he could forgive himself. He never thought he had the right to do so, not when everyone around him counted on him to lead and be strong for them, only to failed them. It was how his life had been all this time.

Leta studied his expression, still caressing his scar gently.

"You always try to protect everyone with everything you have. You love people with your whole being. You give everything for the ones you love, to the people you want to protect, but when will you allow yourself the same courtesy? You don't have to bear the weights of everything on your shoulder." She smiled wistfully. "I'm here, Theseus."

He was speechless. He didn't know what to say at her words. She looked that she didn't expect a response instead she continued talking.

"But the fact you always try to protect everyone despite everything is one of the reasons why I fell in love with you." She said. "Do you know why else I fell in love with you?"

"I don't know." He admitted.

"Let me tell you then," Leta replied. "At first, I only knew you as Newt's older brother and then the War Hero."

Theseus involuntary winced at that word. He never liked being called War Hero. He just did what he had to and survived. There was nothing heroic about that. Leta noticed that and immediately comfort him. She then continued.

"Then, we meet as Investigators and Aurors in the Ministry. My family name is always one the one that haunted me. They would judge me before even try to know me and there was you, who never judged, never cared about my reputation. You loved me in spite of everything."

"That's what you deserve, Leta." He replied earnestly. "You deserves to be loved and I love you for who you are."

"I know," Leta smiled. "And I will be forever grateful for the love you have given me, Theseus. You are the man I want to spend the rest of my life." She pulled his head closer, their forehead touched. She closed her eyes and whispered. "Come back to me without fail, Theseus. I need you."

"I will be back, Leta. I give you my words." When he gave his words, he means it. It was not just empty words and Leta knew this. She opened her eyes, gave him a watery smile. She then kissed him and he returned it. They both needed it.

"I will hold you to that, Theseus." She murmured.

They went to sleep, embracing, basked in each others presence with the limited time they had.

* * *

Leta couldn't focus on her job. It had been almost two weeks and there was no news from Theseus and his team. Even though that mission was supposed to be top-secret, with the team's continues absence, people in the Ministry started noticing and speculating about their mission and whereabouts. She knew these were only rumours and gossip, but she couldn't help feeling unsettled.

She knew she should consider no news as a good thing. It was better than bad news but she couldn't help worrying. She was always expecting the worst which was not helping at all. She tried to make herself busy so she wouldn't think about Theseus but it was not working.

Every time she came home, there would be a pang in her chest. Their home was usually warm. If Theseus could come home earlier she would be greeted by his smile and when he couldn't his presence would linger but for the last two weeks, it was different.

For the first time since they lived together, their home felt unnaturally cold. There was no trace of his presence. It felt like just her old flat where she used to live by herself, there was nothing really personal, just a place to rest, nothing more.

It felt incredibly wrong for her

Their home always felt personal and warm, not like what it currently was. For a while, she couldn't place the feeling she had felt for the last two weeks. It felt cold, hollow; like there was a hole in her chest, and painful. It had become her constant companion for these two weeks. She couldn't shake the fact it felt familiar and finally came to a conclusion. She knew it, it was the feeling that had been her constant companion as she grew up, the feeling that temporarily disappeared when she befriended Newt, the feeling that resurfaced after their fallout and the feeling that disappeared again when she met Theseus.

 _Loneliness._

She had not realised how much Theseus's presence in her life had dissipated the feeling. Since Theseus entered her life, she had forgotten what loneliness felt like because he was always there. At first, he was there as a colleague then as a friend, as a boyfriend, and now as a fiance. He had been her companion for a while and now that he was not here she felt something was missing.

She entered their bedroom and plopped down on their bed. It felt just as cold. She stared at the ceiling, wondering how Theseus was right now. She hoped he was alright and safe and along with everyone in his team.

Her mind wandered to Theseus again.

Theseus had always been more understanding about others' fault than his own. He never allowed himself to be anything but what everyone expected of him. He was always worrying and caring about other people and yet never allowed himself the same courtesy. He was always protecting everyone with everything he had, and left nothing for himself.

She didn't notice it at first but she realised that maybe just like her, Theseus was lonely. He was kind and fair to everyone but he was never truly close to anyone. He trusted his colleagues, he loved them but friends were not something he would need. He never confided anything personal to them. He admitted once that she was the first person that he ever confided in. He said no one would notice when he hid his worry or problem; there was no point to confide since they didn't realise.

He told her that she was different. She probably the only person that could always read him no matter what and that was why he dared to confide in her. He knew it would be fine if it were her. She wouldn't judge him.

At that time, she wondered how he could trust her so much when people usually always held prejudices against her just by hearing her name alone, but his bright blue eyes could never hold any judgment against her. In their first meeting, he was more curious about her and she remembered thinking it was a nice feeling that someone didn't judge her immediately.

He always said that he was lucky to be loved by her but really, in her opinion, it was her who was lucky to be loved by him.

She put her hands on her face and sighed.

"It's lonely without you, Theseus." She murmured. "I miss you."

She raised her left arm, her eyes focusing on the shiny band on her index finger, her engagement ring. She smiled fondly at it. She remembered how nervous Theseus was when he was about to propose. No one noticed how nervous he was though, just her. She thought he was just worried about work but she was pleasantly surprised when later, at dinner, he proposed.

Theseus brought her to the cafe where they had their first date. It really caught her off guard but was also touching. He said the proper place to proposed her just the one where they had their first date since it held many memories with it. He was sentimental like that and she, deep inside, was a romantic.

 _Before I met you, I was only focused on my job and looking out for Newt. I never once think that I would fell in love but I did. I never regret it, not even a moment. I love you for your passion, your smile, your wit, and everything that makes you as you, Leta. You have become many things in my life, you are my colleague, friend, and girlfriend. Now, I am going to ask you to be more. Leta Lestrange, Will you marry me?_

 _You silly man, of course I will Thes, there is no man that I will love to be my husband more than you, Thes. I love you, Theseus Scamander._

That was probably one of the happiest days in her life. She was so happy that she couldn't even fight off the smile from her face for a week and Theseus was in a good mood. Everyone was spooked by Theseus because he kept humming and whistling without reason; until they eventually noticed the ring on his and her left hands.

Reactions varied but most people congratulated them. It was kind of overwhelming at first but then she was happy that most of their colleagues accepted and were happy for them; not counting _some_ people, obviously, but their opinion was not important anyway.

They had no time to think about their wedding ever since Paris. He was recovering from his injuries and not too long after that, they were busy with their jobs. After Paris, his division was short-staffed and even with help from other divisions, it was still quite hard. There was a race against time with Grindelwald and his followers still on the loose.

Leta kissed her engagement ring, praying for Theseus's safety. When he was back, she promised herself that she was going to drag Theseus around to prepare their wedding; so his bright smile would find its way to his smile, to let him forget the weight of everything he bore on his shoulders.

Suddenly, there was a sound of bell ringing which jolted her out of her mind.

She was confused because if it were Theseus, he wouldn't need to ring the bell. She grabbed her wand, in case it was an enemy. She approached the door cautiously, already pointed her wand out. When she opened the door, she was surprised to see it was Newt and Tina.

Newt and Tina brought their hands up in the air, showing they were harmless

"It's just us, Leta." Tina said, tried to calm her down. "It's fine."

She took a step back and sighed in relief. "I am sorry. I was kind of tense in the last two weeks, Tina."

"It's fine." Tina smiled. "Can we come in?"

"Of course," She smiled back and gestured them to follow her inside.

She told them to go to the living room and she went to the kitchen to prepare tea and coffee; knowing Tina was never a fan of tea. She could do it easily with her magic but she didn't, she bided her time, collecting herself because she knew they would ask about Theseus one way or another.

Theseus told her that he didn't tell his parents nor Newt about the mission. He was being silly for not telling them if she were being honest but she understands that Theseus just didn't want to worry his family. Not to mention, Newt was out of the country which only added more reasons for Theseus to not tell him.

She was still thinking about it until she saw Newt and Tina cuddled up in the sofa. She couldn't stop herself from chuckling at the sight, made both Newt and Tina jolted up from their positions which only made her laughed harder. She tried to stifles it because it was obvious both of them was embarrassed.

"It's fine you know," Leta said as she put down the tray on the table. "I just think you two are cute."

"Well," Tina cleared her throat. "Thank you, I guess?"

"You're welcome." She winked at her as response. She sat on the opposites sofas and started out conversation. "How are you?"

"We are fine." Newt answered. "Tired but fine. It's actually quite nice trip. Right, Tina?"

"It is," Tina smiled. "We couldn't stay longer to observe the Horned Serpent but we went to Castlebruxo and learn more about their ground protector, Caipora and Amazonian Salamander."

"Caipora?" Leta asked, curious.

"Yes, that's their name. They are spirit-beings, small and furry also extraordinarily mischievous." Newt pondered a bit before added. "Even more than Peeves if I had to compare."

She widen her eyes at that. "Seriously?"

"Deadly serious." Newt nodded. "Tina can attest to that."

"I don't know about Peeves but Caipora definitely can beat Peeves in term of a troublemaker." Tina shook her head, probably remembering about them.

"They can. I have no doubt." Newt agreed with a smile. There was silent for a bit before Newt stared at her, question lingered in his eyes. "Where is Theseus, Leta? We were from the Ministry, planned to meet him but he wasn't there. He has not responded to my letter from a week ago and that's weird, he's always replied to my letters. Travers also refused to say anything when we stumbled upon him. Is there something going on?"

Leta sighed. She knew he would ask about Theseus eventually. So she told them about the mission, what Theseus had said about it and how long it had been since the mission started. She noticed that Newt's expression grew darker and his posture become tense. Tina who also noticed it, held his hand and caressed it gently, offering comfort.

"He is an idiot." Newt simply said, after she told them about it.

"I hardly can argue about it but that just how he is, always worry about other people, trying to protect them but never give himself the same courtesy." She replied. "He is just like that, my kind and beloved fiance."

Newt stared at her and gave her a smile. "Leta, thank you."

"Whatever for?"

"For being there for Theseus." He answered. "Theseus and I are getting closer again now. It's not like we were enemies, but before we had frictions, well we were too Leta, but yes…. I am just grateful you are always there for him."

Leta was stunned; she didn't expect it from Newt. She smiled at him. "Thank you, Newt. That's very kind of you but you see," She added. "Theseus is also always there for me. In a way, we help each other."

"I am glad to hear that, Leta."

Tina looked like she was about to add something when the sound of the doorbell echoed through the house. All three of them immediately stood up, immediately on guard. Tina immediately took the charge of the situation. She approached the door as Leta and Newt followed from behind her. When Tina opened the door, they were surprised to see a familiar figure.

"Alena?" Tina said, surprised.

"I wish we can meet in better circumstances, Tina." Alena threw her a tired smile. It was obvious she had just dealt with something big from her appearance alone.

"Alena? Aren't you supposed to be on the mission?" Leta immediately approached her, worry clouded her. "Is it finished?"

"I can't say much but it pretty much finished. Anyway, that's not why I am here, it's Chief."

"Theseus?" She could feel worry coiled in her chest. "What happened?"

"He is at 's right now." Alena deflected. "He is in stable condition, don't worry." She added.

"Was he injured badly?" Newt asked, there was worry laced in his voice which Leta could relate very much in the moment.

"Everyone has their fair share of injuries and nothing couldn't be fixed including Chief," Alena answered. "It just in his case, it's not exactly his injury that lay him on St. Mungo. It's the fact he used his magic to help us escape and in a big amount too when he was already low in energy and reserve." She added more after a bit. "He was calling out for you before he lost consciousness, Leta. He needs you ."

Leta bit her lips, trying to control her emotions. She couldn't cry, not yet. She had to see Theseus.

"Bring me to him, Alena."

"That's always the plan."

* * *

Leta stared at her fiance's peaceful expression. It was better than it was a few days ago; he was far too pale and too still for her liking. He had not yet woken up but the healer was optimistic he would soon. She really hoped so. She had been his side ever since. Newt and Tina realized nothing could make her leave his side; they made sure she ate and drank and rested.

She held his oddly cold hand; it felt weird because she used to associate his hand with warm and safety. She caressed his hand gently, wishing he could respond and wake up already. She missed his voice, his sweet smile, and his gentle touch; the one that always made her feel safe and calm when he held her.

Her mind was wandering as she caressed his hand gently and that was when, for the first time in a few days, his hand squeezed hers. That jolted out of her reverie and turned her head toward Theseus's face.

Theseus struggled to open his eyes but slowly, his eyes flutter open. She could see the confusion as his eyes scanned his surrounding and then his eyes fixated on her. She gave him a big smile.

"Welcome back, Theseus."

"I am home, Leta."

His voice was hoarse from lack of use.

Leta helped him to sit and adjusted the pillow behind his back; so he could be comfortable. Theseus was about to say something before he letting out a dry cough. She should expect that since he hadn't drink anything for a few days; good thing that she had prepared a glass of water beforehand. The expression he had when he drinks the water was one of relief and satisfaction; he had to be so thirsty she thought.

"Thank you." He smiled at her.

She studied his expression. He smiled but it didn't quite reach his eyes and he was still quite pale. It was a bit jarring to see the contrast of his scar and his pale skin; it made him look older and so very tired. She bit his lips, worried.

Leta moved to the bedside, she reached for his unscarred cheek. He leaned into her touch, closed his eyes and sighed in relief. She caressed it gently; to gave him comfort she could feel he desperately need.

"Are you alright?" She knew it was a silly question. He would be anything but alright; she asked because she needed him to admit it, so she could heal him mentally and emotionally like he did her. He noticed her intent because as he opened his eyes again, she could see understanding in his tired eyes.

"No, I am not." He replied. "But I will be, eventually." He gave her a little smile. "You will be there along the way, won't you?"

"You silly man," She gave her a watery smile. "Of course, I will. You will never get rid of me easily, Theseus."

"I know, Leta." He looked at her, tried to decide something. He then asked her tentatively. "Can you hug me, Leta?"

Without words, she pulled him into her arms and let his head rest on her shoulder. She could feel his right hand gripping fabric of her clothes tightly; she held him even tighter. Sometimes all he needed was a strong hug to hold himself together, to have someone to whom he could show his vulnerability, not as anyone, just Theseus Scamander.

"I miss you. I was lonely without you, Leta." He whispered.

"So was I," She replied. "Our home feels so different without you. Thank you for coming back, Thes."

"I gave you my word." He said. "And I had no intent to break my promise."

She chuckles and kissed his temple gently. "I know, Thes. I know." She stopped a bit before added. "But Newt won't be happy, he was upset when he knew about your purposefully not inform him about your mission."

Theseus buried his head deeper on the crook on her neck, "I don't think I can deal with him being angry with me."

"He is not angry at you, Thes. He was upset because he was worried." She caressed his head, comforting him.

"Not now, please." He whispered. "I feel so tired."

"Of course," She replied. "Rest, Thes."

"Don't go anywhere…" He said as he slowly fell asleep again.

"I won't. When you wake up again, I will be here." She whispered. "I give you my word."

Theseus let out a small chuckle before she felt his breathing even out and his hand loosens its grip on her; hinting he already sleep again. She kissed his temple, leaned her head on his and sighed in relief. He asked for her to stay but honestly, she needed him here, safe in her arms as much as he was.

There were things waiting for them outside but for this one moment, she ignored it. They would have to face them eventually but now, inside this room without anyone except them, she wished, a selfish one, but she couldn't help it.

 _I wish we could stay like this forever._

* * *

Hit my tumblr or twitter

LacieFuyu

P.S maybe will add few missing scenes I supposed to add later on


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